My Korean Gym Experience

Despite the fact that there is outdoor gym equipment located everywhere in my little city, it has become apparent that, while this service is free, it is highly inadequate. So I have broken down and purchased a membership at my local gym. This gym is several ellipticals and Zoomba classes short of a Bally's or a 24 Hour Fitness, but the experience it has to offer makes it so much more. I think it is definitely fair to label Donghan Fitness Center as a "Mom and Pop" gym, seeing as how the owners went on vacation and closed it for a week, but as I said, the things I have seen almost make up for it...almost.

Upon entering the foyer of Donghan Fitness Center, one feels the cool blast of air encase your body, which is by now covered in the layer of sweat that will inevitably crop up during the walk from your house to the gym in the torturous humidity of summer. The polite/petite gym owner will greet you with a warm, friendly smile as you proceed to the locker room. Just as you do in any Korean household, it is important to remember to remove ones gym shoes before stepping into the locker room. It is here where you must be very careful. Your pale skin and light colored eyes will immediately draw the attention of any women located in the small 10' x 10' area. They will be curious about you. You are the only foreign female they have seen in their gym. You must also watch out for nudity. While you have grown up in a relatively conservative culture, these women have no shame, and are completely comfortable with their own nudity as well as everyone else's...except, of course, for yours, if you so choose to show it. If you escape this first entry into the locker room without seeing an ajuma blow drying her privates, then you should consider it a successful visit.

From here, after you awkwardly struggle to put your shoes back on, you may now proceed to the fitness area. It is a small space but has all the equipment that one might need in order to tone or build muscle. However, do not expect that same standard of equipment that you might have been used to from back home. The circuit training equipment looks as if were purchased from another gym that had to close up shop because they weren't making any money...back in 1992. The equipment is so old, the amount of weight has been hand written on every machine. Luckily for you, it is in lbs (it is unfortunate to grow up in the only country who does not use the Metric system and can therefore not understand how tall people in Korea are, or how much they weigh, or how fast they are driving, or how much weight you are lifting). There are 4 generations of treadmills, each carefully grouped together. The oldest group dates roughly back to the 1980s, while 2 other groups appear to be early and late 90s, respectively. If you are lucky, you can use the set of treadmills from circa 2002. The highlight of the gym equipment is not in the two ellipticals that stand in a corner and have not been plugged in for years, but in the several "vibrating machines" that we all of think of as popularly used in the 1950s. You stand before the machine and wrap the cord around your lower back...then you press the "on" button and let the quick vibrations melt the fat off your body.While your parents understood years ago that this contraption didn't work, the use of this machine has spread like wild fire here and shows no sign of slowing down.

Now, raise your hand if you like hot yoga. Ok, hands down. Raise your hand if you think you would like to apply this same practice to your regular work out. Hands down. It would not be surprising if you raised your hand to the first statement but not the second. One thing you must be ok with at Donghan Fitness Center, is that the fitness area has no air conditioning. The only ventilation it provides is a large fan in one corner of the room and a few open windows. As long as this severe heat and humidity is not a problem for you, then you will feel right at home at the Donghan Fitness Center.

Absurd Korean Moment #5 & #6

Absurd Korean Moment #5: Dinner or Pet?

There is no greater reminder that Korea hasn't always been a first world country than seeing a chicken tied to a tree. This was right outside my apartment building and I think the correct answer is that this pretty little gal is a pet being raised to be a dinner.

Absurd Korean Moment #6: Lazy Beauty
Now that monsoon season has ended and the sun has come out to play, many women have donned their summer sandals. A new trend that I have been observing, and can with all confidence say that I don't like, is that Korean women are only painting their big toe toenails with brightly colored nail polish. Not only is that complete laziness but it looks tacky. I am well aware that my personality is always trying to find order and uniformity in this world and this beauty trend is the complete opposite of that, but would it bother any of you to look at your toes and see the beautiful color you carefully applied to your big toe sitting next to 4 plain piggies? Thoughts?

Classroom BLESSings

There are moments in a teacher's career when you have to take time to smile and appreciate that kids truly do say the darndest things. Kids who speak English as a second language say even more darndest things.

For example: I teach an eccentric 2nd grade student named Bless. Yes, that is correct, he chose the word bless to be his English name. When I asked him if he went to church he responded with a resounding "YES!" Anyway, one day after I entered the classroom, Bless asked me "Teacher, are you twiterplated?" Confused by the term "twiterplated" I had to comb my library of English vocabulary for words that sound like this term. After a few seconds my brain retrieved the word "twiterpated," which I have found myself using a lot lately for all of my friends in new relationships.

According to UrbanDictionary.com, being twiterpated is "the state of having fallen in love, especially at first sight." ["Aw, look at him. He's twiterpated." Thumper from Bambi speaking about Bambi.]

I thought for a moment that this is one of the most obscure vocabulary words a second grade, low-level ESL student could possibly even know. Regardless of the way he came upon this word, he still deserved an answer. I responded with "No, I am not twiterplated. Bless are you twiterplated?" to which he replied with a discouraged "no." For a moment, me and this 7 year old Korean kid were in the same boat. For those of you still wondering where he came upon such a word, it should come as no surprise that this same class is watching Bambi with another teacher.

These are 3 girls from Bless's class. From left to right there is Betty (the one who is so scared she forgot the song), Jessica (the leader with the highest volume), and Sunny (the one who looks like she has had more fun watching paint dry). Their Korean teacher taught them this song and if you watch their hands closely, you will see they are saying "I Love You" in sign language. This, ladies and gentleman, is my life.