All I Ever Wanted Was a Washing Machine

I am proud to announce that I am the new owner of a washing machine. I was told to expect someone at around 10:30 this morning, but as with the Comcast man, it is really more of a time range between 10 and 12. Luckily today he showed up at 10, just in time for me to still be in my PJs. As nothing is ever as I think it will be, this experience proved to be no different. I answered the door, to find my landlord standing there, and I could see a washer sitting in the front yard. How it got there, no one knows. My landlord instructed me to "help" while pointing at the washer waiting below. Of course I must help carry my own washer up the stairs, good old South Korea, you're always good for a laugh.

I bent down to lift with my knees, and my only handhold was underneath said washer. Insert horror violin music here. As I got closer to the bottom of the washer, almost in slow motion, I noticed little hairs reminiscent of pubies stuck along the bottom of the washer. It was at this point that I turned my brain off and grabbed the underside of the washer only to discover that it was wet and slightly slick where my fingertips touched. Again, I had to limit my brain activity and just get the job done.

As if by some Universal Decree, things can never just simply go as planned. The washer would not fit through my sliding glass doors onto the porch, so we had to put it down inside my apartment. I took this quick second to question what that brownish guck on my fingers might possibly be. My powerhouse landlord removed the sliding doors and we tried again. This time the porch was not quite wide enough to allow for the washing machine. I was slightly disheartened, but this little mismeasure did not bother my landlord. He proceeded to hack at the wall and remove its contents, which bear a striking resemblance to styrofoam, in order to accommodate my washer. His adorable wife came in to sweep up all the styrofoam bubbles that got everywhere as a result of his hack job. I could also tell that by the sounds she was making that she was not too pleased by her husband's demolition job.

Nonetheless, after about an hour he got all the tubes plugged into the right holes, and gave me a basic tutorial of how my new appliance works. I have no hot water, and I am not allowed to do laundry if it is colder than -5 degrees (not sure if that is C or F) but I am now free to do laundry!



Washing machine...take notice of the missing wall.



We have no dryers, so I am forced to hang dry my clothes.



Hey, North Korea, Thanks A Lot

So as I am sure most of you have heard by now, North Korea has attacked South Korea. Apparently they do so every few months and only manage to do a little damage, or unfortunately kill military men. However, this time they began shooting at a tiny island close to the coast of North Korea. There is a military base on the island, but it is mainly home a to a small fishing community and innocent South Korean Citizens. 2 of these citizens were killed in the attack, which has been called one of the worst bombardments of South Korea's territory since the Korean War in the early '50s.

There is an air of uncertainty in my neck of the woods. Some people say that North Korea won't try anything more, while others think that there could be an all out war. It has been hard for me to decide where to land on this spectrum, I feel obviously better when I speak to people who say that it will blow over, and a sense of dread when my coworker tells me that her mother-in-law says to leave the country right away. In the end it ultimately becomes a waiting game, I have no control over this situation. If worst does come to worst, I can leave. The children that live here do not have that option. Since the attack, impending war has become a popular topic of conversation in the teachers office as well as in the classroom. I was teaching my last class of the day on Tuesday, the day of the attack, and one of my students told me she was afraid about the war. I told her that I was nervous too, but that it would all be ok. She replied that it was not bad for me because I could leave, but she had no where to go. There it is folks, the reason for this blog post.

At the risk of sounding like a condescending ass hole, I must devote some time to this. As an American, I have never had to deal with a war in my own country. These things are fought in other places on other continents, worlds away from me. I was little affected personally by this. Now I am in a country that is potentially on the brink of war, and it is the weirdest feeling. I have lived 25 years and, trust me, I have felt a lot of emotions, but this is one for the record books. I am slightly scared, yet incredibly disgusted that people can do this to one another. It makes me sick to my stomach that throughout the history of the world, people have ruled with fear and have hurt and killed others for their own gain, and worse yet, that people have not learned from this and overcome this barbaric lifestyle. These children that I have had the pleasure of getting to know over the past month, are worried about war, about what may come next. An issue that most of us have never dealt with. Count your blessings as an American, for what it is worth. You can sleep peacefully and your children have not laid awake at night upset about a little three letter word, and the prospect of dying. Let this sink in and please think about it a little.

I don't know what the outcome of this situation will be, but I do think it is more serious than skirmishes in the past. I guess we shall see what the next few days bring. Also, I have been here for exactly one month today...what a way to start my adventure.

Seoul Lantern Festival

My first adventure slash tourist excursion was last weekend when Erin took me to the Seoul Lantern Festival. Here I am, excited on the bus:

Erin and I had received a Starbucks Christmas coffee tumbler and a free Starbucks drink, from one of our students for Pepero Day. On this day (11.11) the students buy Pepero (small chocolate covered sticks) for their teachers in bulk. Unfortunately, I arrived too close to Pepero Day for most of my students to know me well enough to bestow the sacred Pepero upon me. However, one student went above and beyond the call of Pepero Day and gave me the very item I was wishing I had thrown in my suitcase, a coffee tumbler. Because of this, Erin and I had decided to start out our Seoul day trip with a stop at one of the few Starbucks in Korea that has a Starbucks sign written in Korean.


Yes, that somehow says Starbucks.



Top: The ads in Korean. Bottom: Erin and I enjoying our $6.50 drinks,
drinking out of a straw, as is customary here.

On we went to a market in Namdaemun (I am making up that spelling, but it is pronounced Nom-day-moon). It is where I will be buying most of your Christmas presents, and it is jammed packed with so much stuff it is a little sickening. There are also people covering every inch of every free space within sight, so I made a mental note to return on a weekday.

At the equally crowded Lantern Festival, I enjoyed the sights, just not the crowd. Here are a few pictures to show you how pretty it was. Keep in mind these are all made out of paper!

So beautiful and definitely worth the trip into Seoul! Until next time ~Peace and Blessings, Peace and Blessings~

Pack Your Bags and Come With Me on This Power Trip

I am now in my third week of teaching, and I have had some time to get on some of the kids' good sides. I have also had time to make some of the children really dislike me, which in Korean culture generally means that they have to try extra hard to impress me. Korea is a shamed society, but I will explain more in a minute. This brings me to my first story.

1. I teach 3 kinds of classes: reading, listening, and novel study/writing. Reading and listening classes are the two easiest classes to teach and involve the least amount of prep work and grading. Novel/writing classes are a different matter all together. In these classes the students are reading a novel. There is a workbook that corresponds to this novel. The students must answer 10 questions, write a summary, write a paragraph about what they think will happen in the next chapter, define 10 words from the chapter, and use 5 of these words in a sentence. For EACH chapter! On top of that, there are journal books. It is my duty to assign a new journal topic (English level appropriate of course) and the students must write an outline, a first draft, and a second draft. You think that is a lot? The students are also assigned a speech topic every month, which also includes an outline, a first draft, and a second draft. I am exhausted just telling you about it, and I am the one who has to grade all this stuff!

Now, in my advanced novel/writing class, I have a lot of students with 'tude. But none as bad as Lucy H. Lucy H. is in a class all on her own. Part "brown-noser" part "know-it-all," she is a mixture of vanity and narcism with a schotsche of pretentious anxst and loves to hear the sound of her own voice. Yesterday a boy asked a question about a character in the book, and she turned in her seat to haughtily ask him: "Did you even read the book?" Whoa down girlfriend. For our latest journal topic, I gave them the prompt "Would you rather win 1,000,000won today or 5,000,000won in one year?" Little did I know what dire consequences this would have. The following is a note I receieved in the blank section where Lucy H.'s outline was supposed to have been, and her actual journal entry. Do enjoy.

"*Note to teacher: I don't like this topic and it did not make me think or write a lot. Please make sure you think before giving us a topic.*

Though many people prefer more money, I don't care. But last thing I'd like to do is wait. But to get money from someone for no reason is not a good thing unless they are your grandparents. If it's someone that you don't know, it just makes me feel like a foolish freak who doesn't have any money.

I personally won't get any money unless I've won a lottery. So if this thing is about lottery, I would get it right away.

You must notice that I might be dead next year due to a *deases or something. Then that money goes straight back to the lottery company.

But if it were a stranger asking me "Do you want 1,000,000won today, or 5,000,000won in an year?" I'd probably yell at him "Do I look like I don't have any money? I don't need any money from YOU!"

In conclusion, I will never wait and get 1,000,000won or none. I think this is making people be obsessed with money."

This has to be one of the funniest and most infuriating things I have read in a long time. Needless to say I pulled her into the hall at the end of class and gave her the smack down! Later I expressed my concern that her mother could be angry with me for scolding her and call the school to complain. My friend Erin told me that Korea is a shamed society, and that if her mother did call, it would be to apologize profusely for Lucy's behavior. I could get used to this.

2. I have had the challenge of learning over 100 students' English names over the past few weeks, and I think that I know mostly everyone by now. Learning names will always be a challenge for teachers the world over, but I must say that I am presented with the extra task of keeping up with the names these students have chosen. For example, when I tired of the name Amanda, I chose to go by Mandy, a relatively close variation of my given name. When my Korean students tire of their names, they can pick a new one all together, and no one says boo. In one class alone, I had a Grace change to Lou, a Lucy change to Clara, and an Ally change to Amy because "Ally was too boring." So now I am constantly struggling to stay on top of all the names, new and old, that I am asked to remember.

3. In one of my novel/writing classes, we are reading Pippi Longstocking. In the book, one character curls her hair in preparation for Pippi Longstocking's birthday party. I asked the class if their mothers have curling irons and curl their hair...to which they replied no, but lots of boys do. One girls' brother frequently curls his hair. Another has a father with a curled coif. So if I have told any of you that I am not going to be dating a Korean male because they are too effeminate for my taste, this should explain why. I have been observing the male hairstyle trend since that class period and I do think that men spend more time on their hair in this country than women do. Just an interesting observation.

4. In a reading class, we were reading an exerpt of Little House on the Prairie, and one of the men in the story had a moustache. I asked the class if they knew what a moustache was, and it was clearly obvious that they didn't understand the concept when they replied "nose hair." After explaining that moustache hair does not grow out of the nose, but slightly under it, I told the class that in America, many men grow moustaches. One boy asked "Does your dad have a moustache?" and I replied "Yes, yes my father did have a moustache for many years." I would like to take a moment to remember that moustache......
Then the light bulb in my head went off. Not only do Korean men not grow moustaches, they do not grow any facial hair whatsoever. Then I began to miss the bearded mountain men of my former life. I think I am going through mountain man withdrawal. I would love to see some plaid, or boots that aren't Uggs, or even Carhart's for god sake! The men in this country wear the most stylish jeans I think I have ever seen in my life. Eat your heart out Beverly Hills.

My Bachelorette Pad

Some of you have been dying to see my humble abode, so here is it in all its glory. But before we do, I would just like to take a minute to remember the 7 nights I spent sleeping on the floor.

I will play 'The Glad Game' here and say that at least I had something to sleep on.

Now get ready for greatness........drum roll please.....................

My kitchen.

The view out of my window...that is another building.

My dining room/entertainment center.

My BED! That gigantic window actually looks directly into another apartment window. I have noticed that Korean's will put windows anywhere and everywhere, despite the view.

I have this patio thing that looks into all my neighbors windows.

My bathroom...notice there is no shower stall...I have to stand in front of the mirror and use the hand sprayer to bathe myself. That has been interesting.

This is my thermastat. I have to push the green button when I want hot water, and the blue one when I leave. That is about all I know how to do with this thing.

And there ya have it folks, my tiny studio apartment in South Korea. If you noticed, the walls are incredibly bare and I would love any and all types of artwork and pictures sent my way! Peace out girl scouts!

In Over My Head

My first week of teaching went by in a crazy flash. I am not sure I was completely present mentally, maybe I was still in shock and jet lagged with a side of scared out of my mind. I will tell you all I can remember and the stories that I find to be the most note worthy.

For the most part, the kids are really cute and sweet, and I would say that with any culture, they get worse with age. My younger classes have cuter kids but more of a language barrier with some of them, so that is difficult. My older classes probably have the language but the attitude to match it, not to mention the ability to talk shit about me in a different language, right in front of my face. Some notable stories include:

1. Keep in mind that we just had Halloween recently when you read this story. I was taking attendance and this girl in the front, Grace, wouldn't stop laughing. All the kids were talking to each other back and forth about something in Korean. I was trying to get the class under control when a boy says "She think you look like dracula." I gave them a puzzeled look and they all pointed to their teeth. I do have very sharp canine teeth, and this stupid girl in front decided I looked like a vampire. I am sending in my audition tape to the Twilight Series this afternoon...

2. I was on my way to teach my third class ever, and upon entering the classroom I see the kids huddled in a circle around one boy, who is on the floor crying. It goes without saying that I immediately found someone else to deal with this crisis. That would have been a little too much for me on my first day.

3. I was walking around the classroom checking everyone's workbooks to make sure they had done corrections, and I came to this kid who had his notebook out. I looked at the notebook and there was a picture of a mean, monster-like person with an arrow pointing to it that said Amanda. I probably turned bright red, and I pointed at the drawing. He looked down at the drawing, then up at me, and all I could think to say was "that's not very nice." That'll show him...

In America, we name children two given names followed by the surname. In Korea, the surname comes first followed by one given name. For my school, the kids choose English names to go by, and honestly I couldn't be happier because the kids laugh at my pronunciation enough without having to pronounce each child's Korean name. For some reason Lucy, Sally, Emily, and Jessica are the most popular girls names. John, James, Andy, and David round out the boys' most popular names. If there is more than one child in a class with the same name, they become 1s and 2s, for example, Lucy-1 and Lucy-2. I do appreciate creativity, for example one of my favorite boys chose the name Albert (how cute?) or another little girl chose Bennet. Maybe I should start grading on English name originality instead of how good their English skills are.

The Tortoise and the Hare

Korea is the tortoise. I am the hare. After I arrived I was repeatedly told that Korean's are never on time, nor do they ever do things when they say they will. This is fine, I don't mind waiting a few extra minutes for the bus or the answer to an important question...but I do mind when you tell me I will be getting my apartment furntiture on Monday and it doesn't arrive until Wednesday.There is a big difference between sleeping on the floor until Sunday night and sleeping on the floor until Tuesday night. I guess it is something I must become accustomed to seeing as I will be here for a year. All whining aside, I did receive my furniture (pictures to come) and I finally have a bed to rest my weary body upon. For anyone that doesn't know, I highly enjoy the fine art of home decoration and design. I moved everything around to where I like it, and it felt really good to play house after not having a place of my own since July. The movers thought it was perfectly acceptable to put my bed in the kitchen and my refridgerator between my bathroom and my armoire, and with enough HGTV viewing hours to get a pilots license, I knew better.

I feel I must devote some time to the Korean public bus system. It has been interesting getting to know my main mode of transportation for the next year. Were you aware that someone, in their infinite wisdom, thought that making busses manual instead of automatic was a great idea? And worse yet, that Korea would say yes, let's spend billions of Won buying as many of these stick shift busses as we can? Yes Ladies and Gentleman, this has happened, and I must say that I never got car sick before having to ride on these dreadful contraptions. And heaven forbid you get stuck standing on one of them. I was standing the other day and thought I was going to fly out the front window. There are a select few chairs that have yellow seat covers on them. This means that if the bus is full and an old person or pregnant lady get on, and you are sitting in a yellow chair, you must give it up to said old/pregnant person. I fully believe that this has nothing to do with respect or values, and more to do with the fact that old/pregnant people have a higher likelihood of falling over, so the Public Bus President made this a rule for legality purposes.