All I Ever Wanted Was a Washing Machine

I am proud to announce that I am the new owner of a washing machine. I was told to expect someone at around 10:30 this morning, but as with the Comcast man, it is really more of a time range between 10 and 12. Luckily today he showed up at 10, just in time for me to still be in my PJs. As nothing is ever as I think it will be, this experience proved to be no different. I answered the door, to find my landlord standing there, and I could see a washer sitting in the front yard. How it got there, no one knows. My landlord instructed me to "help" while pointing at the washer waiting below. Of course I must help carry my own washer up the stairs, good old South Korea, you're always good for a laugh.

I bent down to lift with my knees, and my only handhold was underneath said washer. Insert horror violin music here. As I got closer to the bottom of the washer, almost in slow motion, I noticed little hairs reminiscent of pubies stuck along the bottom of the washer. It was at this point that I turned my brain off and grabbed the underside of the washer only to discover that it was wet and slightly slick where my fingertips touched. Again, I had to limit my brain activity and just get the job done.

As if by some Universal Decree, things can never just simply go as planned. The washer would not fit through my sliding glass doors onto the porch, so we had to put it down inside my apartment. I took this quick second to question what that brownish guck on my fingers might possibly be. My powerhouse landlord removed the sliding doors and we tried again. This time the porch was not quite wide enough to allow for the washing machine. I was slightly disheartened, but this little mismeasure did not bother my landlord. He proceeded to hack at the wall and remove its contents, which bear a striking resemblance to styrofoam, in order to accommodate my washer. His adorable wife came in to sweep up all the styrofoam bubbles that got everywhere as a result of his hack job. I could also tell that by the sounds she was making that she was not too pleased by her husband's demolition job.

Nonetheless, after about an hour he got all the tubes plugged into the right holes, and gave me a basic tutorial of how my new appliance works. I have no hot water, and I am not allowed to do laundry if it is colder than -5 degrees (not sure if that is C or F) but I am now free to do laundry!



Washing machine...take notice of the missing wall.



We have no dryers, so I am forced to hang dry my clothes.